Well, We have been battling moms pain levels which she says can be measured at 20 for a few day's now. We've tweaked her medication's increasing the intervals and the doses to no avail. She's had a new pain which we were sure was a kidney stone, however, we also believe that she has a new tumor pressing on her intestines not allowing her to have a bowel movement properly. Sometimes it will be days at a time. The concern at this time is two-fold. Keeping her bowels moving so her intestine doesn't become sepsis or figuring out a new pain regime overall.
The current medication they have her on at home are not getting the job done, no matter how we tweak them, so the nurse asked us to make the decision to go to Hospice house for a few day's so the Dr's can start with a clean slate and find the right medications to keep her comfortable and hopefully lucid. Our balancing act has become a daily battle that we are not keeping up with well at this point. Hopefully, Hospice house will have some answers that we can not seem to find.
Mom's memory is not great, probably because of the medication and she's moody and weepy, Who among us wouldn't be if we knew that increase in pain meant the battle was nearing its end? With each increase, each new pain, she feels she's being called closer home. Which is her prayer right now. That she's made her atonements, said her peace and is now wanting God to take her home away from the pain.
As I sit here waiting on the ambulance to take her to the Hospice House, I can't help but wonder how much longer it will be.