Friday, May 20, 2016

Can it be real?

There is a new "post" if you look at the top left of the page, there is a link that says mom's photo's. That page has lots of information on it. Please feel free to check it out. 

Today has been a tough day. Each day still seems surreal.  Is she really gone? How can that be possible? How can it be that I will never talk to her again, hear her laugh, or crazy ideas or buy another mothers day gift. How can it be true that I and my brother are orphans before either of us are close to 40. I keep wanting to call her with my latest idea on things we should do. 

And I won't even get into all the guilt I carry. Everyone keeps telling me to just "let it go" I have no idea how I am supposed to do that, what it even means or if I am ready.  She's buried in a beautiful place, I am going away for the weekend and will pass by. I thought of going by the cemetery, but I am scared it will only cement things for me and I don't know what to do with that kind of reality yet. 

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