Saturday, September 10, 2016

Been a while

There are day's that I still can't believe she's gone. Where I still pick up the phone and try to call her. Day's where I am angry, sad or lonely, confused, sad and a bit depressed. I have let small tears flow, I have curled up and hid from the world. I have talked to my mom, I have remembered the 2nd of every month since her passing. Today was different. My family was all out of town, so I am on my own. I was going through a closet and pulled out a bag I have been avoiding. It was cards from my mom to her grandkids for different milestones in their lives. I was sorting them out by child and in the back I found a birthday card with my name on it. The last words from my  mom.... I bawled like a baby. It was not something that was over the top, nothing that was too extreme... it was just the moment. I just cried.. out loud and long... for the first time, I just cried like a little baby. I really am so happy that she left me something. It was unexpected and caught me off guard.

My world is smaller without her in it of course, but my heart was happy to know we had moved on from some hurt that we had.

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